We are living in a generation where the marriage is losing its preciousness. Every day we are bombarded with lots of marriage memes, husband-wife conversation memes, arrogant wife & pity husband memes, ego related memes, and LOT more. Even though those memes seem to be funny, it makes a huge impact down the line in our subconscious that marriages are tough and unworthy to fight for.
When marriage is rightly understood then we will get motivated to do our best in that relationship to make it happy and meaningful. It is a wonderful relationship and it is worthy to fight for irrespective of all the challenges we face as husband and wife.
Nowadays, marriages are breaking up due to a lot of untold expectations. The truth is, marriages can be healthy, loving, energetic and meaningful. All we need is to work out few things and let go things that we are holding for a long time.
Here are the 5 simple things to improve your marriage.
- Give space
Every person should be allowed to have their own space to refresh, retreat and reflect. Whenever I feel low or just get overwhelmed with my day to day responsibilities, I love to meet my old colleagues or my friends. Sometimes, my husband encourages me to do so as he knows how energetic and happy I will be, after those visits. This happiness reflects certainly in our marriage relationship.
The best part is, if I want to go meet my friends, he never hesitates or show faces. Instead, he readily accepts that with a happy heart which makes me not to feel guilty for spending time on my own.
In turn, I also love to allow him to watch movies on his own and spend time with his friends as I know how much important to make relaxed and refreshed.
Even there is a misconception between you both, just give some time to your partner to be alone and get calm down. That few minutes of thinking in their space allows them to calm down and think straight without any added emotions.
Allowing your partner to spend time on their own makes them feel more relaxed, happy and energetic. This, in turn, boosts the relationship between you both.
- Share Responsibilities
Taking Responsibility and sharing responsibilities are the major struggle in a lot of marriages. But it can be tackled and well managed in the course of time. In order to avoid untold expectations in sharing the responsibilities, better list out all the responsibilities and talk about it freely and share it with you two. Kindly notice that I didn’t mention “equally share”! 😉
For instance, in our home, he takes responsibilities of all kinds of payments (yes, he needs reminders from me, though 😉 ), dropping kids and planning weekend outings. Other than that, I take care of other things, as he spends most of his time in managing his business and travels often. I won’t say this is the best way to share responsibilities. But it works for our home.
Try to take up responsibilities that you can manage and don’t overload yourself with a lot of responsibilities. If you are more like me, then try to outsource few works and can avoid stress. I have a helper who comes every morning to clean up my home and wash dishes. This reduces few of my responsibilities and helps me focus on the other things without any further burnout.
Always there should be clarity in this area. Men need more clarity in this area. If wives are able to patiently discuss about it and share the responsibilities to them perfectly, then that will improve marriage and avoid a lot of disappointments.
3. Focus on Positives
Everything in the world has a speciality inside right from a grass. So, focus on positives of your partner and try to appreciate that. When we start looking at the positives we will start falling in love with them all over again.
In our initial days of marriage, there were lots of misunderstandings between us. I started to look at him as a villain in my life. (Oh me!!! Yeah! 😀 ). One day when I was reading a book, I liked the idea of focusing the positives of our partner. From that day, I started to look for the positive character in him. After that, I was surprised to see there is another positive side of my husband. I found out lot of positives in him more than I thought! He was more caring but poor in expressing, more reasonable in few things, loves to travel as a family, wanted to watch movies together, love to give gifts for my birthdays but forgets the date (oops!) and a lot more. Yes, I started to fall in love all over again with my earlier “villain” 😉 I hope you got the idea. 😀
Focusing on positives qualities of your partner surely lift up your marriage to a new level.
A proper communication avoids lots of misunderstandings and problems arise especially between couples. In the Bible, there is a saying, “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.” Communication is important between couples but we should also give equal importance on when and where to communicate with our partner.
Let’s say, you are playing a game. You cannot expect your team member to catch the ball without taking care on throwing the ball in the right direction. In order to play a happy game, first you should know the art of passing the ball towards your team player properly.
If he keeps on forgetting your birthdays, even you fought for years then it means that he really doesn’t have the capability of remembering the dates! SIMPLE! Then there needs a proper communication. Remind him the day before your birthday or in worst case remind him on your birthday with a smile. (Not a mean one, though! 😉 ) See the difference in them!
Try not to open an argument when he/she is tired or stressed. Talk about sensitive issues when they are calm and in good mood. Talk to them softly and politely so that they can think about it without getting emotional. If we do so, there will be a lot of thinking from our partner before answering our questions other than getting emotional and breaking out as an argument. AND hence a happy and understanding relationship!
- Always remember you both are “ONE” team and “ONE” body!
When we were little, we could not stand when someone talks ill about our parents/siblings. Especially, even now we couldn’t stand when people comment on our parents. This is because you consider your parents as your own flesh. Same way, you should consider your better half. We should always be on their side no matter what.
Consider your right hand has some problem and you can’t lift it. Does your left hand complain about doing everything alone? Or are you getting frustrated and cursing your right hand? No, a hell NO! Instead, the left-hand does almost double the work until the right hand becomes normal. It comes naturally to the left hand. We take medications, put ointments if needed and almost the whole body is taking care of the right hand until it becomes normal.
We should have the same mindset with our partner. Start to encourage them when they fail, care for them when they are stressed out, hold hands and ensure you love them when they do something really wrong. Stop pointing your fingers and start loving them no matter what. When you start considering them as your team and do everything a successful team needs, then that good spirit will catch them too and they also consider themselves to be on the same team and work for the success of your marriage! That certainly improves your marriage relationship!
These are the few simple tips to improve your marriage. What are your thoughts to enhance your marriage relationship?