It’s been a season in this blog for writing 5 things I guess! 😀 Today also I’ve come up with another 5 simple yet powerful ways that can make your child’s day.
“PARENTING”, is one of the most important and major responsibility in our lifetime. It is a cave of untold surprises and a place where we learn a lot of life lessons! Every day we march past inside the cave without knowing what was there for us that day! Some days are normal, some days are pleasant and some are totally crazy.
The sad thing is, we often forget we are unique and often compare ourselves with other “so-called” good parents in our point of view and beat ourselves to do more. Also, we get trillion bits of advice from our near and dear ones, judgmental talks and comments about our parenting leave us more frustrated. These negative factors distract us from improving ourselves one step at a time and leave us in chaos.
Other than beating ourselves to do more, we should realize that “We are enough”. Whenever we compare ourselves with another parent, just remember that “We are unique and our needs and skills of our children are unique and it’s a total injustice to our own self to compare with someone who’s not eligible to compare”
Whenever you feel the pressure inside, be intentional to take one step at a time. One small act a day can change your parenting little by little and make it manageable and do it with intention in the days to come. Even though there are rough days, you know how to tackle it and you will accept and feel content that it is a part and parcel of your life.
“Giving THE BEST to our children is, letting them learn all the lessons you learned through your experiences and make them understand the meaning of life.”
In general, children are not complicated as we assume! All they need is our attention, love, and guidance. We need to treat them as a team member in a team, a fellow family member, a friend who needs time to be spent on. Stop thinking that they don’t know anything. When we start focusing on them and treating them with importance, then you can see a “new” person in your child.
The following are the five simple tips that can make your child’s day.
A hug is one of the best love languages. Its simple yet powerful. A warm hug is enough to comfort a crying child, enough to make them feel secure and calm them down. It is more than enough to make our children feel that we are there for them without spitting out a single word.
Researchers say that on an average day, a child needs just 6-9 hugs to drive their day and feel loved. Buying them costly toys, taking them out for dinner or new places won’t touch them as strong as a hug. It’s a perfect way to show your love and make your child’s day. A little pat on the back, a squeeze in their hands, holding hands when you walk with them are enough to make our kids feel happy and secure.
Giving love won’t come naturally. It’s a part of intentional living. Next time when your kids are getting on your nerves, be courageous to give them a warm hug and ask what’s wrong. You will notice the difference! You come to know that a small hug do wonders other than shouting and punishing them.
If you are a parent who would like to present good things to your children, pamper them with lots of hugs!
Children talk a lot! They never bother whether we are free or busy, they just come in and start conversations! Usually, when they get excited about seeing something new they hop in and share it, when they get hurt, they come to us crying and share what happened and in short they love to communicate everything they encounter in their daily life.
But for us, listening part is too tough! We often get busy with our works and don’t listen to them. It might be impossible to listen to them always. But, make it as a choice to listen to them at least a few times a day. While listening, do it with your full concentration. Hold all your works, look into their eyes and listen intently to show your love. It will encourage the children to share more and help them to count on you when they are in need. Listening also helps you to know their intentions, interests, fears, concerns, likes, and dislikes.
A few things to keep in mind while listening
- Try not to interrupt until they finish talking
- Keep it confidential if they ask you to.
- Encourage them to share their shortcomings and assure that you won’t yell at them after hearing that.
- Encourage them to share EVERYTHING they encounter. And ensure them that you believe in them and you will be there for them no matter what. [In a lot of repeated child abuse cases, there are two types 1. The child doesn’t get the space to talk about it to their parents 2. Parents who don’t believe/hear what their child shared! ]
When you start listening to them, you can see a lot of improvement in the parent-child relationship. They seem to be more friendly and sharing than before. So, why don’t we try to listen to our children and make their day?!
3. Make Conversations
Children have no problem in talking to us. On the other hand, most of the time, we talk to them only to give some advice or instructions. Other than that, we never make more conversations with them. (At least me!
Instead, try making conversations. Ask them about their new findings, how their classes went, who are their friends, do they want to help anyone they know, what are their setbacks and a lot more!
Feel free to share them, your financial situation, share them the responsibilities they have as a family, share them how much their help was appreciated in certain parts.
When you start sharing all these, you can see a new person in your child. They seem to be more understanding, surprisingly, they come and give us ideas, commit themselves in few works and so on.
I have tried sharing my thoughts with my older one and have seen lots of difference in her activities. Even though she needs a lot of reminders, I can see a paradigm shift in my view towards children! Actually, they understand us, when we are willing to tell our shortcomings and explain the real situation.
As they love us intently, they take it to their heart and we can see remarkable changes in them very soon. They seem to be more responsible and friendly after that. That, in turn, increases their confidence as they get to know their importance in their family.
4. Go Crazy!
Going crazy is the best stress buster for children so as parents! 😉 . A sudden pillow fight, a squeezing game, unexpected splashing water game, singing songs, dancing with kids, jumping in bed, all makes them happier in no time!
We do it a lot at home. Even when they are crying, they can’t resist joining the crazy party. So, all bad moods fly away faster. They will forget all the things that made them feel bad and join the crazy games in no time!
Go crazy at least one time a day and let your children see the child in you and join their hands to celebrate the moment with you!
5. Give Some “Dedicated” Time
This is mainly for the parents who have more than one child. We often end up in spending time with our younger ones. Elder kids are assumed to be grown ups, once the young ones are born. They are expected to live more responsibly and forgiving. We often fail to see the child in them! The fact is, they also want us to treat them as children, they also need some time to be spent with us.
To tackle with that, we can take them alone for shopping or for a small trip to the juice shop to spend some alone time and share some giggles. Get to know their concerns and ensure that you love them more than anything else. Make them understand that how much you look up to them in every situation and thank them for their understanding and support.
I used to spend time with my older one when my younger one sleeps. We talk lots and it is always enriching the love and understanding between us.
Make sure you give some “alone” time with your children and make them feel special and loved.
So, what’s your idea of making your child’s day?!