Humans are really special. Unlike everything in the world, we are all unique in our own ways. Right from outer appearance to inner qualities everyone is different in one or the other way. Although it looks like it’s a gift to all mankind, most of us are all not happy about it most of the time, or at least me! Irrespective of our uniqueness, we compare our looks, career, abilities, and whatever that can be compared! We go so creative in this! 🙂 Comparison is like pulling the emergency brake rope in a train. It suddenly slows down our usual flow of our life in a negative manner. One incident made me rethink my intention to compare.
It was when I had a push inside to start a blog. But, I was hesitating to start a blog thinking about how come I’m going to write in good standards as other leading bloggers do and was doubting that whether I can consistently write as I’m a very irregular person who have difficulty in following routines! Not knowing what to do, I was sitting in the school ground staring at the children playing there. At that time, my kids were playing with their grandpa in the school ground. He called me to take a video as he was conducting a small running race among the kids over there. The game is, they have to run, touch a target and come back to the starting point. All were in their position. My little Christa (2.5 yrs) was also standing there, ready to run. She was way too younger than others. I thought how she is going to compete with everyone! At that time, my father counted 1..2..3.. and everyone started to run including Christa. Everyone was running so fast while Christa was running way too slower than everyone else. Everyone touched the target and was returning back, but Christa was only half way through the target. I thought she was going to quit. But, to my surprise, Christa didn’t stop running. She ran slowly yet steadily and touched the target and returned back without any hesitation. All others reached the target and were clapping and encouraging her until she reached the starting point. The happiness of accomplishment was in her face as she came back to the starting point! I was quite moved by her attitude. How pessimistic am I to compare her abilities with others! At that time, I got an immense energy inside and I decided to go ahead with my writing.
At that moment, I felt like I have understood everything about the comparison. Mind was quite clear. Yep, the comparison is actually meaningless. We compare our realities with someone else’s glamorous stage appearance. Life used to be moving normal and good. Then, all of a sudden, there came this old soggy puddle. We very well know that this old soggy puddle is just located right there and it is in the SAME place in our whole life AND also know that if we fell into it, it’s hard to come out of it! But, still we love to play and ponder in that puddle and later fell into unwanted stress! For example, most of the times, we feel okay with the way we keep our home. Either it’s neat or it looks like as if the hurricane just hit the home, we all are okay with what we have until we see someone else’s clean & organized home. It looks clean and clutter-free even when you visited them without any notice! Our heart cringe inside. Suddenly a feeling of discontentment peeks in and we start doubting our ability and our home management! In fraction of a second, our happiness is gone! Come on, there are a lot of factors involved in this. Don’t just come to a conclusion and doubt your abilities all of a sudden. It is like assessing the abilities two children of different age groups with the same question paper! We never notice their exact situations, their expertise, or anything else, but blindly compare with that we see at that point of time.
How to handle comparison?
Life is not an easy job. To keep it simple, we have to choose few intentional good choices even though they don’t look fancy! Choose to respect you. Choose to appreciate your abilities. Choose to be gratified with what you have. Choose to take it as an inspiration whenever you see someone with better abilities.
Yes, it’s hard to digest when you struggle to look after your kids sitting at home while your friend is going for work, taking good care on her family, and have good work-life balance! Friend, that is totally fine! You are doing great right now. Stop right there! Stop comparing! You are unique. We are all running in our own tracks. It’s NOT who is coming first, who is best, who is able. Completing the race matters. Don’t try to run in their style. You have your own style. Respect it! Dig yourself, improve yourself, encourage yourself but don’t stop yourself by just comparing with others.
In my school days, whenever I showed my mark sheets, my father never asked me any questions about what I’ve scored, nor inquire about the top scorer’s marks. Besides, he will simply sign my report card with a smile and say, “try to beat these marks next time”. It was really encouraging. It helped me to study freely other than worrying about what everyone else will get! It gave lots of space for me to improve.
The comparison is redundant. It follows wherever we go. It stands next to us and expecting us to fell right into it. It stops us participating from everything. One or the other time we fell into it unless we make an intentional choice to ignore it. Even though I was totally aware of the comparison, at one point of time, I couldn’t start writing when I kept comparing my writing with all those legendary bloggers! I was earlier stopped by all those so called reasons, but not anymore. I intentionally stopped comparing or competing with all those big writers over there in this whole blog world. This one intentional choice is helping me to write now. This choice gives space for me to improve in my own pace. Now, I’m trying my best to give a better post than before. when I start writing the next post, I consider my previous writeup as my competitor. I intentionally prefer to make the best out of myself than before. I may not get noticed for what I write. But, definitely I have a satisfaction that I have used my ability and have tried my level best to share my thoughts to others. You never can be perfect. It’s just a phantom. Let’s try to be happy with what we have and start using our talents without any hesitation.
When you have understood the fact that you are unique, then there will be a lot of space for you to improve yourself in your own ways. Right from your neighbor to unknown people, where ever you see people excelling in their skills turn out to be your inspirations. You will be able to celebrate their success & happiness along with them without any hard feelings inside. How relieving it is! You will feel lighter, happier and more energetic when you get the fact that you are unique in your own ways!
When we intentionally avoid that old soggy pit called comparison, we can be able to explore other nicer things in our life. Let’s just intentionally come out of the pit, clean ourselves and start a happy & adventurous journey all over again!.
So, how do you tackle comparison? Get depressed? or Just avoid it? or take it as an inspiration?