The Phantom Called “Perfect Love”

By | June 19, 2015

the phantom called perfect loveIt was when Cathy was 3 ½ years old and second one was 6 months old. I was sitting with desperation not knowing what to do next. Before moving on to that incident, here is a little information about me.

I’m not a child friendly person. I always love to watch them playing, love to hear their conversations, love to converse back. But, I’m so impatient when it comes to play or allowing them to do things they love to do.

But, now, after becoming mother of two children, I can’t say this anymore. I tried to play, do crafts, and tried what all I could. But, I failed. I failed EVERY single time. I desperately wanted help. I can’t do this anymore. They’re not going to love me, if I’m continued to be like this.

I called Cathy and started to talk to her.

Me: Cathy, do you love mommy? Cathy: Yes I do, ma

[After few other conversations….]

Me: What are you don’t like with mommy?

Cathy: You are not playing with me like grandma. You are watching Christa all the time. (And few more she added. All are mere truths, but I was sinking inside)

Me: Do you want to be with grandma?

Cathy: Yes ma. She should come and be with us.

Me: Grandma can’t come. Only you can go and stay with her. Are you willing to be with her?

Cathy: (Nodding her head fast) Nnnoooo. I want to be with you only. I will go and see her in my holidays along with Christa.

Me: Mommy is not taking care properly right? Am scolding you all the time right baby? Grandma will take good care right? Mommy won’t take it wrong darling.

Cathy: But, I can’t be without you all the time. I want to be with you always.

Yes, other than what I thought, she loved me irrespective of all my shortcomings. With tears, I hugged her with a great relief. Happiness overflowed. She loved me even when I failed her lot of times. She showed me how to love everyone beyond all their imperfections.

One or the other time, we all fail in showing our love to our loved ones. But, instead of feeling defeated and blaming ourselves, go ahead and mend the relationship. We will be surprised to know that they are still loving us beyond our imperfections. Problems in relationships are like, crack in the wall. The earlier you fix the easier it will be. Talk, say sorry, talk more, pamper, show love. Try one more time.

On the other hand, we might be expecting a perfect love from our loved ones. Often we get stressed out when he forgets our special days, When he could not baby sit even at the needed moment, when she could not understand the importance of your official meeting, when your kid could not understand your work load and nagging to play with you and many more!. There is no such thing called “perfect partner”, “perfect parent” or anything else. It’s just a phantom. No relationships are perfect by nature.  Be gracious and courageous to forgive & love our dear ones.

Love speaks louder than anything else. Perfection in relationship comes when we start loving our loved ones along with their imperfections. When you start doing that, you will be the motivator for your loved ones in the journey towards the perfect relationship. Pretty soon, they will also join hands in that pursuit. Love is highly contagious. It will just catch everyone in your home, and slowly, your home will be like a joyful paradise.

What’s your thought on “perfect love”? Will you go forward to mend relationships or will wait for the other person to talk about it?

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